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Does every girl struggle with friendships?

Friday, May 28, 2010

I’m a young woman and consider myself a mature adult. I enjoy fun hobbies and can be light and adventurous but I’ve also had big decisions, challenges, and responsibilities to carry out. I believe this makes a ‘normal’ woman.

I also consider the ‘but’s’ in my situation. I married young, so I’m not dealing with relationships like others at my age. I don’t have kids. I have moved many, many times and just when I start gaining trust in and with someone I leave. I struggle with feelings of security. In my comfort zone I would never relocate and all my loved ones are near. God has really taken the task to always have me out of my comfort zone. I’m glad he does. He is the only one who can and still comforts me in His peace.

Friendships are hard for me. I don’t want to dwell on my childhood drama but I know that’s a small part of my issue today. I didn’t have many girlfriends growing up. I considered myself “not pretty” yet I embraced the attention I received from boys. Even in the youth group at church I had bitter encounters with other girls. I married and entered ministry, where friendships are almost non-existent.

Eventually, I gained the friendships of a few ladies who God put in my path. G, E, S, L, M, L, are some of the few ladies whom I feel free to be me and loved regardless. Sadly, all are miles away living their own lives. Many times I’ve wanted to call and just ‘be’ but my analytical mind doesn’t let me. I say to myself, “They have important things to do” or “She will tell me she is busy and can’t meet like last time”. The feelings of loneliness and inadequacy seem to always give a hint. When it’s really bad the other thoughts come, “Maybe if you just had a child, you would have something in common like so many women”.


Just typing this out and letting it come to the light is freeing – why? Because that thought is a LIE. God is the creator of life and I don’t need anything or anyone to feel accepted because God accepts me as his child. That’s truth!

I have friends. So, what’s my issue?

I would like to have friends whom I share important events, feel comfort around them; enjoy times of laughter and deep moments. I want my friends to be close, I don’t want to plan trips and spend sometimes hundreds of dollars to see them. I want to settle. Grow roots.

At the end of day, I have the 2 most important friendships a girl could have. God. My hubby. I believe it’s very important for a girl to have friendships that encourage her, discipline her with maturity, and most importantly love her. I will choose to trust God. Maybe it’s not my season to have such friendships, I mean really have them. Maybe I have enough to deal with in strengthening my marriage and completely be healed and restored. God knows best. Always. Even when I don’t understand it and wish it was different. I know in the past he bought certain people in my life who became lifesavers. He is the gate of my relationships, to doubt the friendships I have is to doubt Him in a way.

Jesus, I thank you for loving me and accepting me for all that I am. You never rejected me and you always have the best for me. Help me remember everything you’ve done for me. You are faithful and I believe you and the Words of promise you have set for me. Amen.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Kass permalink
    Monday, June 7, 2010 6:01 PM

    You and I are on the same wavelength. lol. I just wrote a post about wishing I had more in common with my friends from church.

    Hope all is well with you right now…

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